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Gender Male

Was: a victim
City: Train
Was wearing shorts and shirt
Reaction: Moved away silently
Incident was: One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 30-40

Experience:
Just a brief about myself first…as a kid..I have always been shy type..I have been totally unaware of things or topics related to sex till quite a long time..and anything related to sex (scenes in english movies..or even rape scenes in hindi movies..which at that time were quite prominent)were considered quite inappropriate and made my parents change the channel ASAP!

Anyways…about the incident..Its been a long time…I was most probably going to Delhi with my dad (he had some medical check up)…and I must be around 10 or 11 years old..It was day time and I was sleeping on lower berth. There was this another uncle who most probably boarded the train from same station (as he has been sitting with us for a long time and had seat in same compartment), he also lied down on the seat as there was plenty of space there. Before that he had asked my dad to go and rest on top berth as he was not well that time. After some time I felt a hand on my thighs and slowly he was groping me. I was not aware of whats going on…as mentioned…I had no idea of all these things! So I kept my eyes closed as if I was sleeping (dont know why I did that!) and maybe that encouraged him and he tried sliding his hand up in my shorts. Luckily, the shorts were a bit tight maybe and he could not succeed in what he was trying.

All this time even when I had no idea of whats going on..I was a bit uncomfortable and after some time I acted as if I was waking up and he instantly removed his hand!

This incident was long lost in my memory and I somehow recalled it while reading the posts here. Luckily for me, this incident didnt traumatize me much and I later almosst forgot about it. Maybe the reason it didnt have much impact on me was my ignorance. Had I known that I was being abused at that time…or had I known what abuse is..then maybe this incident would have scarred me for life! I would say ignorance did protect me! But, having said that..somehow I still remember this incident and some parts are still crisp clear in my memory! Maybe, if I was not that ignorant kid, I would have shouted or screamed..or maybe would have just woken up..and that would have avoided this incident!

In our society, sex education to their children is something  which makes lot of parents feel awkward…but even if some parents do have “the talk” it is when the kid is grown up (and mostly knows a lot thanks to friends, etc.). I feel if the foundation of this topic is laid at a very early age and open communication is maintained..maybe a lot of such incidents could be avoided!Metro-North_train_1567_enters_Stamford

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Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: Train/Chennai
Was wearing Jeans and Kurta
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Enduredimage7

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and older than 50

Experience:
A victim of exhibitionism!

When I sat down to write to my story, the first question that came to mind is   “which incident should I write about “. Though it seems silly, the truth is I have been a victim (in appropriate touching / verbal / visual) more than once…

This incident happened during my under grad days in a crowded electric day train. I was traveling to Bangalore from Chennai along with my best friend. After sometime, I noticed that a man was standing next to my seat. I have no clue when / which station he boarded. He was around 50 years old. Dressed well and had a briefcase in his hand.  He politely asked us, at which train station we are going to get down so that he sit in my seat. At that point since he looked genuine we did reply to him. After this conversation, he adjusted his position and location such that he is clearly visible to us!!

After 30 minutes or so, I noticed that my friend was behaving weird and felt very uncomfortable. She abruptly stopped talking to me and turned the other direction. I asked her what was going on.(??)

All she said was “Nish! Antha poruki ena panara paren…” (Look at him)

I looked at the guy and was shocked to see what he was doing. He was showing his genitals from a distance and trying to do “IT”. At this point if you are wondering how he managed to do it in public..?? , this is what he did – He comfortably held his briefcase in such a way so that except us no one can see his golden act. He realized that we noticed what he was doing and became more “happy”.  When all this was happening, he retained calmness in his face and no one will even suspect that something was going on.  Now and then he casually looked around to make sure no one else noticed him.

Both of us didn’t know what to. We felt embarrassed to complain about it to our fellow passengers. After 10 min we couldn’t take it anymore.
This is what we did: I asked a co-passenger (male) if he can switch place with us. Since the guy was at distance he couldn’t hear our conversation. He though I was complaining about him and left the place immediately and never came back.
While were getting down at the Bangalore station, we spotted him in another compartment standing next a little gal (~15 years old probably). We both knew ‘why the hell’ he was standing there.

Both of us just looked at each other sadly…

3 Comments

Gender man

Was: a witnessabt_raghu
City: Mumbai train
Was wearing Chudithar/Salwar Kameez with dupatta
Reaction: Reacted (yelling, complaining, slapping, fighting back)

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 30-40

Experience:
I was in a train with a female friend of mine. In the moving train she suddenly started crying and I asked her what happened. She said the guy behind her groped her. I was wild and at the next station pulled the guy out and gave him a thrashing. He was sounding so aplologetic. I was gonna then let it go. Suddenly three of his mates came by and asked what happened. There was a transformation on his face which was remarkable. He stands up to me and said, “I will do it again and lets see what you do about it”. Till this time NO ONE on a busy Mumbai platform intervened. When my friend screamed and some people started moving towards them the hooligans ran away. I wonder how out of 1000+ people not even 10 muster courage

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to stop something like this.

Didnt even bother going to the police since would have got no response from them either. Just walked away. However if this incident or something like this happens in my presence I promise I will intervene and do something even then.

4 Comments

Gender woman

Was: a witness
City: Train/Kerala

Was wearing Short skirt and top

Reaction: Reacted (yelling,complaining,slapping, fighting back)

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 30-40

Experience:379553_2271329197209_311887713_n

Every lady will have a tale of sexual harassment she faced or witnessed when they look into their past. I too have many a stories to share. The most bizarre fact is that you are foretold that it is going to happen with you one day or the other. I was told by my mother and aunts that I am going to face it in different forms; once I start traveling alone; when I am alone at home; when a family member hugs in such a way that I feel uncomfortable etc. When I joined college the first advice from my aunt was to carry a ‘safety pin’ at the end of my Dupatta. And I did it till a point I realized it’s not safety pins that protected me from those maniacs, but my courage and my luck.

I’m sharing an incident to which I happened to be a witness. I was pursuing my masters in Delhi and was traveling from Kerala. Three days in a train with strangers, and I made sure

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that I got an upper berth. I was the lone woman in that coupe, and there was a man, consuming alcohol, and that made me a bit uncomfortable. He was so drunk that he tore the window curtains while getting up from his seat. I thought about shifting to the next coupe where I found three women, one of whom around my age. But I stayed back comforting myself.

I wasn’t comfortable sleeping in that space those two nights. I woke up on the second night hearing some noise in the coach. After a while, i figured out that a man tried to grope the girl in the next coupe where I thought of shifting. I had seen him talking very friendly to the family during the day. Hardly anyone ever expected him to act that way. She screamed and he was caught. Some men took took him outside the coach and had a conversation. I don’t know what went on there, but I saw him leaving the coach with his luggage. No one filed any complaint.

I looked for the drunkard in my coupe; he was sleeping without ever knowing what was going around. I felt sad for the victim and at the same time the selfish in me comforted that it didn’t happen to me. I felt relieved that i did not shift to that coupe.

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unGender woman

Was: a victim
City: Train
Was wearing Jeans and Kurta
Reaction: Reacted (yelling, complaining, slapping, fighting back)

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 20-30

Experience:
I was twenty then, I was returning to Mumbai from Ahmadabad. I had gone there for a wedding of a close cousin. I was travelling alone as I had to be in Mumbai for an exam that was scheduled for the next day. Due to the ongoing marriage season, there was too much of rush, and so I had to travel in the sleeper class. I was allotted the middle-birth. I normally never sleep during the train journeys. However, due to too much of stress, I couldn’t keep my eyes open that day. I was in deep sleep when I suddenly got a sensation of somebody caressing my feet. Horrified, I got up, but due to dim lights I saw no-one. My brain kept telling me that it was a nightmare, but my conscience couldn’t fathom that. I tried sleeping back. Fifteen minutes later, I had a hand over me, groping my breast. I didn’t have time to get shocked, my instincts made me screech. He tried escaping, but I grabbed the collar of his shirt and gave him a tight slap on his face. By then, I had woken up everyone in the compartment. The lights were switched on, and then I saw the face of my worst nightmare; his face was the most civilized face I had seen on the

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train that day. He was beaten up and handed over to the on board police. I couldn’t get myself to close my eyes, even for a second, after that. I was sickened; I cursed myself, still do, for letting my mind sleep. I’m so devastated by that incident that, I dread travelling alone by train, and I haven’t, since then.

7 Comments

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: CrowdedLocalTrain/Chennai
Was wearing un
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 20-30

Experience:
This was the first time I put my foot in Chennai. I was 16 and I have come with dreams in my heart and was on my way to IITM for my first day first year of Engineering.

I was travelling with my dad and we were on a bus from Guindy to Adyar. I was not used to travelling by bus/local trains and that was probably my first time in a crowded bus. I felt a man (I didn’t see his face) who was trying to feel me from behind. At first, I thought it was unintentional since the bus was too crowded. But, all along the ride, he was trying to touch and feel me. Not that it would or should matter, but I was wearing a very loose salwaar kameez with a dupatta wrapped around me like a blanket.

It was the first time in Chennai and I was too scared. I felt abused and humiliated but I didn’t know better 9 years ago to make a scene then and there which I will do now god forbid such a situation arises again. It was the longest ride ever for I hated every second of it. I had it in my head all this while but I never let it affect me. Anyway, all the good things in life helped me move on.

1 Comment

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: Local train/Mumbai
Was wearing Long Skirt and top
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 20-30

Experience:
Victim, female, Mumbai, local train on the Harbour line around 6 pm.

Disclaimer : I honestly have no recollection of what I was wearing. My ten-year-old existence didn’t pay much attention to clothes, anyway. And I also have no idea how old the perpetrators were.

Mom, Dad and I were returning home, to Vashi, after meeting family friends in the city. During the onward journey, Mom had shepherded me into the jam-packed ladies’ compartment of the train, and Dad had squeezed into the general compartment. I was bewildered by the crowds, but it was a great adventure! I love train journeys, and the few trips to the city were special treats. Since we were returning at an off-peak hour, and we boarded the nearly-empty train at the starting point Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, Mom and Dad decided to travel together, with their super-excited daughter. Remember what people say about the simple pleasures of life?

I had a window seat, and the train ride was perfect. Up until Wadala Road. That’s when a sea of people swarmed in, and suddenly every inch of space in the train was occupied by people pressing against each other. The transformation was instant, and I could sense the change in my parents’ mood immediately – mom gripping my hand a little tighter, dad telling me to keep close to them when we had to disembark. For which there was still quite a bit of time, but we were already preparing for it. I think I remember Dad making a hopeful remark about some of the crowd leaving the train at Mankhurd, which arrived before our stop. Unfortunately, we had no such luck.

In the few moments that we navigated through the thick crowd, despite having two people doing their very best to protect me, I was groped by two people. One trying to squeeze my non-existent breasts, and one putting his hands between my inner thighs. I know these were two different people because they happened at different points in that short route, and we were the only ones who were moving. And yes, I am sure they were not “accidental brushes unavoidable in crowds”. It’s true what they say about “good touch, bad touch.” Even a naive ten-year-old knows the difference. Both times, I looked up, trying to figure out whose hand it was, but I couldn’t. It was insanely crowded, we were making our way towards the exit, and maybe at some level, I wasn’t even trying too hard. For one thing, I had no idea how to react, and for another, I was desperate to escape.

I have a vague memory of mentioning something about the crowd to my Mom– after many days spent thinking more seriously than I ever had, and feeling dirty. Looking back, I think if I had shouted or cried loudly when the first instance occurred, or in some way alerted my parents to what was happening, I might have been spared the second instance of groping. I have no doubt that they would not hesitate even momentarily before taking on a possible villain, or even the entire faceless crowd. But I was a shy and quiet kid, and my natural reaction had been silent shock.

Eventually, I mastered different techniques of evasion. Mumbai, and later, Bangalore, gave me lots of opportunities to practise my skills. Nimble side-stepping. Using elbows to ward off “unpleasantness”. Wearing a “busy” and “no-nonsense” look. Using my backpack as a protective layer. Never, ever letting my guard down.

I don’t think there’s anything remarkable about my story. It’s an ordinary story that involves a couple of random perverts and a defenseless kid. But it was my first time, and, to quote

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1 Comment