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Gender Male

Was: a victim
City: Train
Was wearing shorts and shirt
Reaction: Moved away silently
Incident was: One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 30-40

Just a brief about myself first…as a kid..I have always been shy type..I have been totally unaware of things or topics related to sex till quite a long time..and anything related to sex (scenes in english movies..or even rape scenes in hindi movies..which at that time were quite prominent)were considered quite inappropriate and made my parents change the channel ASAP!

Anyways…about the incident..Its been a long time…I was most probably going to Delhi with my dad (he had some medical check up)…and I must be around 10 or 11 years old..It was day time and I was sleeping on lower berth. There was this another uncle who most probably boarded the train from same station (as he has been sitting with us for a long time and had seat in same compartment), he also lied down on the seat as there was plenty of space there. Before that he had asked my dad to go and rest on top berth as he was not well that time. After some time I felt a hand on my thighs and slowly he was groping me. I was not aware of whats going on…as mentioned…I had no idea of all these things! So I kept my eyes closed as if I was sleeping (dont know why I did that!) and maybe that encouraged him and he tried sliding his hand up in my shorts. Luckily, the shorts were a bit tight maybe and he could not succeed in what he was trying.

All this time even when I had no idea of whats going on..I was a bit uncomfortable and after some time I acted as if I was waking up and he instantly removed his hand!

This incident was long lost in my memory and I somehow recalled it while reading the posts here. Luckily for me, this incident didnt traumatize me much and I later almosst forgot about it. Maybe the reason it didnt have much impact on me was my ignorance. Had I known that I was being abused at that time…or had I known what abuse is..then maybe this incident would have scarred me for life! I would say ignorance did protect me! But, having said that..somehow I still remember this incident and some parts are still crisp clear in my memory! Maybe, if I was not that ignorant kid, I would have shouted or screamed..or maybe would have just woken up..and that would have avoided this incident!

In our society, sex education to their children is something  which makes lot of parents feel awkward…but even if some parents do have “the talk” it is when the kid is grown up (and mostly knows a lot thanks to friends, etc.). I feel if the foundation of this topic is laid at a very early age and open communication is maintained..maybe a lot of such incidents could be avoided!Metro-North_train_1567_enters_Stamford

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Gender man

Was: a victim
City: House/Mumbai
Was wearing shorts and shirt
Reaction: Reacted (yelling, complaining, slapping, fighting back)

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Friend or acquaintance and aged Less than 20

The incident occurred when I was in my 10th grade. I lived in a big community belonging to the company in which my dad worked. A great friends circle and common schools, playgrounds and festivals provided an ideal environment for a close knit community. A neighbor of mine, 4 years elder to me, who I had befriended recently called out from her balcony asking if she could come over to my place, to which I agreed. My parents weren’t at home, which didn’t seem to surprise her, she didn’t express the slightest hesitation and neither did I find any reason to hesitate.
She came over, and we were watching TV when things got a little uncomfortable when she turned around and mentioned how weird my shorts looked with her left hand resting on my thigh. I slid away saying that I have always been weird, in the obnoxious way I usually do. A few minutes later her hand rested on my right shoulder and she asked if I liked her, by which time I had edged to my end of the sofa and was feeling extremely uneasy. I replied saying “ofcourse, aap achhi ho, didi (hindi for elder sister)” and stood up, feeling very scared and alone and not quite sure how to react, and muttered that it was getting late to play shuttle. She too stood up, and asked if I could get

her a glass of water. I went to kitchen to get a glass of water, and got a shock of a lifetime when I turned around, as I saw the girl standing across the corridor, topless with a smile. I started sweating, stunned, scared; and she moved towards me and raised her hand to touch my cheek, and then I slapped her. It might have been seconds, or minutes, but the next thing I remember was the door bell ringing. She said “open it”, and slipped into the restroom. My parents were at the door, and I mumbled something about being in the other room and not hearing the bell when they questioned me, mixing it up with telling them that she had come over. She came out, coolly saying “hi aunty, I was just leaving” and left but not before whispering that she had left a gift for me.
The moment she stepped out, I rushed to restroom, only to find that the horror continued, and she has left her undergarment there. I remember myself sitting there on the commode, scared to come out, scared to touch it, afraid of my parents, afraid of god, feeling guilty. I had called her didi, a sister, and to me that was sanctified, it had always meant a sense of comfort and protection and this shattered everything. My family was ultra-orthodox and at that moment I felt that my dad would kill me. Trembling I stuffed it in my pocket, fumbled out of the house, ran six stories down and threw it in a dustbin there. Came home, changed my shorts. I spoke to no one, which on hindsight I probably should have. This incident shut me down; I became scared to go down to play, uncomfortable around girls I met anew, starting staying in school or at my friends place more often and panicked every time I saw her. I hid behind bushes when she walked down the same path as me. I was scared of her, afraid of what she may do, of the revenge she may seek, of another move that she would make. My panic ebbed when I left the community, finally leaving behind the city I loved for my higher studies, my discomfort with girls vanished after I met some amazing friends, but I have never been able to completely shake it off, probably because I chose not to confront it, chose not to acknowledge my fear and weakness, chose to bundle it up. She has contacted me four times since, over phone and electronic media, and has accused me to rejecting her love, and every time I have panicked, for all I can remember is the fear of that day and the weeks that followed.
And till today am not completely sure that I have come to terms with it, and I am glad to have a chance to put it out. To break one’s silence is a daunting task.