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Gender Female

Was: a victim
City: Bus, Chennai
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Reacted (yelling, complaining, slapping, fighting back)
Incident was: One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 20-30

Experience:
It was during my 12th. My school is situated behind a Men’s College and the school’s closure timing and the college’s coincide.
I was waiting for a not-so-crowded bus at the bus stop for quite sometime. Later I had to get into a crowded one. Few of the college guys were passing explicit comments about me for which i decided ignorance is the best thing. Later, one of them tried getting close to me or i would rather frame it as molested me. I screamed at the person and kept yelling until the bus was stopped. The bus conductor tried quietening me down and completely ignored the guy who was supposed to be punished.
I wanted the bus to be taken to a nearby Police Station. But the elderly people in the bus asked me to forget the whole incident and think that none of it ever happened. The bus conductor asked me to get down the bus so that the bus can start moving again.
It feels so wrong that women always are expected to never retaliate to such situationsquiet

2 Comments

Gender Female

Was: a victim
City: Delhi
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Reacted (yelling, complaining, slapping, fighting back)
Incident was: Recurring

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged Less than 20

Experience:
I have always been told that school and college are places where you are secure around teachers and friends. I have also read and understood that love is something which must not be forced upon or tortured to pursue and is a natural feeling between hearts which bloom from the wonderful feeling of friendship. I have various incidents in my life which made me an introvert inside and a tough and rude person on the outside and I will write about them in several posts following the current post.
In this post, I describe the first incident in my life which had made me lose trust on any person I meet and which makes me take a lot of time to make new friends even now.
When my sister was in her early teens and I was around 7-8 years old, we were studying in one of the prestigious schools in Delhi. Every evening, we used to walk around 4 streets from the school to our house. My sister and I were being followed by a tall dark man with a helmet on a motor bike almost every day. Initially for a few days, we didn’t react as if we noticed his act, but it became evident, when he loudly called out my sister’s name (more than once) in public and we had to turn. We were taught by our elders that we must not talk or react to any strangers and we just rushed home quickly from that spot. I wanted to tell thishadow mans to my mother, but my sister who was very scared about this issue asked me not to tell her as she didn’t want to make it a big issue at home. We had to find different ways and shortcuts to get back home and took different routes (just to cross 4 streets). Still he somehow used to find out where we were and used to follow us and pass irritating comments or sing some song with my sister’s name in it. In short, he was flirting.
One fine day, I came to know that, he was actually the cousin of one of my classmate who was also my bench mate in class. I found this guy talking to her (my bench mate) during one of our break sessions and I asked her who he was and how he knew where we lived. She told me that, he was her cousin studying in some XYZ college and he had asked her about my sister and I, where we lived etc., and she had innocently told him. I scolded her on the spot and asked her to tell him to mind his business and not disturb my sister. I had no other option but to tell my mother about it on the same day after school. My mother started accompanying us from the next day.
I started feeling really scared starting from that day when I came to know that he was my friend’s cousin. Hence, I decided that, for the welfare of myself and my sister (whom I am/was super protective about) and for the sake of my parents, who would be shattered if they hear any non-sense news about my sister or me, I must not reveal any personal details (even the place I come from/my phone number) to any friend of mine, unless I come to know that will not be of any problem to me!! Sounds bad. I know. Even if I had to give, it became a habit to warn them not to reveal my details to anyone else. I might have sounded like a paranoid to most of my friends, but I felt that, they won’t understand this pressure till they experienced similar issues.

No Comments

Gender Female

Was : a victim

City : Chennai

Was wearing : school uniform

Reaction : Moved away silently

Incident was : multiple times

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 30-40

I am sharing few incidents that hurt me the most during my child hood.

I was in 4th or 5th standard then. My father was a business man & my mom was supporting him in his business. Everyday they would leave early in the morning and sometimes returned home as late as 10  or 11 PM. During weekends, they take me with them to their office. Sometimes I refuse to go with them as it was extremely boring to sit at the office, doing nothing and preferred to stay at home.
One evening, I was watching TV lying on an easy chair. It was almost 8 PM and my parents had not returned. My neighborhood uncle, aged 35 – 40 years, came inside asking me if he could watch the TV with me as the TV in his house wasn’t working. I got up in respect, offering him the easy chair. He asked me sit on it and sat down on the floor beside me. After ten minutes, he suddenly took off my frock and started fingering. I was taken aback and did not know how to react. I became numb. I was blaming myself for not wearing underwear. He would stop every 5 to 10 minutes to see if anyone is coming and continue. I did not know how to stop him; I was praying that no one should see this as I was afraid that people might call me a bad girl. After about two hours, my parents came home.
Hearing their footsteps, he quickly covered me with my frock. My parents were surprised to see him and thanked him for looking after me when I was alone.

Once again when I was alone, he tried to use the situation. I got irritated and called him a dog. Then I shut the door in front of him and did not open it until my parents returned. He got frightened and went back. I then realized how I should react to him to send him away. But still he would disturb me whenever I were alone and try to use the situation. But I escaped from him by shouting back and
locking myself inside our house.

One noon I was returning home from school. As I opened the main gate of our house, a fat man, who came in a bicycle, stopped at our house and came to me asking for an address. Like a child, I told him where it was. He slowly asked me which standard I studied and if there were any health inspection in our school. It somehow coincided that there was indeed a health inspection that day. I told him yes and that the health checks are due to me the next day. He said he is a member of the campaign and started pressing the sides of my breast. He asked me if it hurt, I said no, thinking he is really checking my health. Then he asked me to turn back, raised my uniform and removed my underwear. He then put his palm between my buttocks and fingered my vagina from behind. He asked me if it pained. This
time I said yes, to stop him from doing it, realizing his real intention. Then he asked me to turn front to see my front part. I said no I would not. He kept talking with me for few minutes to see if I would accept. I said a strong no and then he went away in his cycle. I was feeling shameless for not realizing his intention in the first instance. I was blaming myself for being so innocent.

I had gone for a wedding with my parents when I was around 12 years of age. A guy, aged 20 approximately, was constantly watching me wherever I went. I found it uneasy but thought it is normal for guys to see girls in weddings. I wanted to go to the washroom and called my mom to accompany me. But she told me where it was and asked me to go on my own. When I was sitting in the closet, someone pushed the door hard to open it (the door was made of just an ordinary metal sheet). Even before I could get up, the door was opened and the guy who was watching me throughout the wedding was standing out. He watched me for almost 2 minutes and quickly went away hearing someone coming. I felt ashamed and ran to my parents. On my way, I saw him sitting with his gang of friends and having a nice gala time. I was bursting inside and hurriedly asked my parents to leave. My mom scolded me for asking them to leave so early. I was unable to tell my mom what happened and was silently blaming her inside my mind for not accompanying me to the washroom.

I am now the mother of a 2 years old baby girl. I do not trust any of my neighbors and ensure that she is not left alone with anyone. I will educate her on good touch & bad touch and teach her how to react if anyone ever tries to misbehave with her. I will tell her that it is not her fault and not to feel guilty if anyone ever behaves that way. Most importantly, I will ask her to share every incident with me. I think this is every parent’s responsibility.

easychair

1 Comment

Gender Male

Was: a victim
City: Main road in Chennai
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured
Incident was: One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 40-50

Experience:
What could possibly go wrong by just accepting a ride back home from school?

The incident happened when I was in high school (standard XI).  I was walking home from school when an old(ish) man with grey hair and riding a motorcycle, stopped and offered me a ride till the bus stop at the end of the road. I figured I was lucky that day since I had never got an offer from any stranger before, and I was in a hurry back home anyway; I accepted the ride. Halfway towards the bus stop, he asked me where my house was; I told him, and he replied that he is anyway going somewhere close by and he can drop me in a bus stop near my house. I agreed a second time, thinking that I was lucky after all.

However, soon after, in the middle of the road, he stuck his hand behind him, and started rubbing my genital organ. I resisted his advances, but I did not have the nerve to react or fight back. This went on for a little distance, and then he took my hand in front of him & forced me to rub his organ. I resisted a bit more, at which point he threatened me saying, “Don’t act like a good boy. I know what you do when you boys are alone.” (By the way, he spoke fluent English.) I was initially too stunned at that comment to react; slowly I mustered my courage and forced him to stop by threatening him that I will try to get the attention of a traffic cop standing nearby.

I got down immediately after he stopped the vehicle, but he didn’t let me go completely. He caught my hand, forced it up on his genitalia and asked me to squeeze it for him. “One hard squeeze, and I will let you go.” I was just thinking of getting out of there asap, so I first obeyed him instinctively. But he was not satisfied with my squeeze, asking me to tighten my grip more & more. When I couldn’t take it anymore after a stage, I just loosened my grip and repeated my warning that I will call for attention unless he lets me go. He relented finally, and I walked away.

Aftermath: I was quite shocked for a few days after the incident. Fortunately, however, the incident was rather brief, and it did not leave any long-term or disastrous impact on me. I do think about it from time to time, feeling embarrassed by my helplessness in that situation. Finally, this incident remained a complete secret for about seven years, until I told my friend last year. I did not know how to bring it up with my parents, friends, or teachers.Photo-on-2-22-13-at-6.26-PM

No Comments

Gender Female

Was: a victim
City: School van/Mumbai
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured
Incident was: One time

Perpetrator was a Friend or acquaintance and aged 20-30

Experience:
There were two incidents that happened at different times in the school van, by two different perpetrators. I was about 15 years old when this happened.

The first one was a school kid, a boy who was a year younger than me and studying in the lower class. He would sit next to me in the school van, and tried to stroke me on the back and sides and behaved as if nothing happened whenever I gave him a glare. He continued doing this for a couple of days, until I cried out angrily in front of everyone to stop it. He behaved as if he had no clue what I was talking about, but fortunately didn’t touch me again.

The other incident involved the man (we called him uncle) who drove the van. On the way back home, there was a time when all the other girls had already been dropped off, and I was the only girl remaining in the van with other school boys. I don’t remember how it all started,  but the van uncle was making lewd remarks about a girl’s private parts and all the school boys were enjoying it and laughing over it. Knowing that I was the only girl around, I could understand that it was aimed at harassing me, but I didn’t know how to react as even my school “friends” were joining in the abuse by laughing at it. Although, this was a case of only verbal abuse, it left a much deeper scar on my psyche than the former one or any other incidents of abuse because I couldn’t retaliate or talk to anyone about it at that age. Moreover, it was done by someone my family trusted my transportation to.
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It is very important for girls and women to retaliate and talk freely about such incidents, and to produce an environment where they feel free to do so. It is also necessary to educate school kids, both girls and boys, on how to react to such situations, when they themselves or a friend is being threatened.

*-Name changed on request

No Comments

Gender Female

Was: a victim
City: House/Hyderabad
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured
Incident was: One time

Perpetrator was a Neighbouimagesr and aged 40-50

Experience:
I was 12 or younger- I was walking down the street near my house in the afternoon. It was a sleepy residential area, considered very safe, when a guy started stalking me. I did not know it at the time and hence was oblivious. I felt someone staring at me and when I turned back, he was across the road, he had removed his penis out and was leering at me. I was brought up in such a conservative family that there were no talks ever about anything related to guys or sex or anything. In fact, at the time, I was so clueless, it took me a while to realize that was his penis. I was more scared of the expression on his face- he had an ugly look of hunger. I got very frightened and ran away from there. I brushed it off as one brushes off seeing a mad person on the road.

The next time was when I was in eighth class and returned from school earlier than usual. I was supposed to pick up my keys and my snack box for my tuition from my neighbor- this was a regular thing in case my mother had to go out. When I when to the neighbor’s house, I got to know that

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he was the only one home and as soon as I had my back turned to him, he grabbed me from behind and groped me. I was stunned and could not move for some time. Then I mumbled that my mom will be coming now and fought and pushed him away and ran…

I was always told not to trust strangers/ wear traditional clothes etc. and hence was very very guilty after this. I remember nothing but guilt, not even hatred for him. I did not wish that he should not have done it- I only wished that I wasn’t trusting- because, as far as I knew, we are supposed to be very careful or else…

I know now that I was not at fault, except when I could have shouted out, told people about it. But I was never taught that it was okay to talk about this. Even when my mother taught me basic hygiene, it was with a rightly expression of disgust- it was not in our culture to question/talk about any of this… forget any education about how to address all the sexual energy.
I hope something changes with initiatives like this.
There were many more incidents other than the above two. Enough of those happened in public transport that I think it is as safe as walking through a red light area at midnight- although it is a myth that most sexual assaults happen at night. Or to scantily clad rebellious girls.

*-Name changed on request

No Comments

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: House/Haryana
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Moved away silently

Incident was : Recurring

Perpetrator was a Neighbour and aged Less than 20

Experience:
I think I was 5-6 years old. Yes, so I was just a kid. We would generally go to this house next door to play with the family. I think he must be hardly 15 years of age and I considered him just as my elder brother. He would call me in the afternoons, would undress me, and lick me. I remember this happening twice. I, myself dint know what was it since I was grown up enough to understand everything. At that time, I don’t even know how I escaped out of it. Now it just seems to be a nightmare that something like this happened. I don’t remember anything from my childhood but, this incident. What was my fault? I was innocent and ignorant. I din’t know what was happening to me.

Now, he is married, has a son. What does he envision for his son? To be just another cheapster like him?!

*- Name changed on request

ChinaDoll

No Comments

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: Hyderabad
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 20-30

Experience:
I was 10 years old when I was cornered by a stranger in

the lift in my building. I did not shout. I didn’t even ask him to stop. I didn’t know that I could. All I knew was that I hated what was happening and I did not know what to do to make it stop.

I went home and scrubbed myself for 3 hours, hoping that that would somehow undo whatever happened. I did not use the lift for 6 months after the incident. I don’t even remember what exactly happened. All I remember is the feeling of helplessness. And disgust.uniform

No Comments

Gender Female

Was a : victim

City : Chennai/House

Was wearing school uniform

Reaction : Passively endured

Incident was : Recurring

Perpetrator was a Relative and aged more than 50

Experience :

I was in class 4, I used to often stay at my aunt’s place (My father’s sister) as my parents were working. My aunt was a lovely lady, very loving, like a mother. She had no idea. My uncle used to play cartoons on the tv, make me lie down with him, put a blanket over us, and he would then put his hands inside my dress and finger me. I was very uncomfortable, I knew something was miserably wrong, but I had no idea what to do. It was deeply shameful, and as a child I was just confused. This happened probably 2-3 times. My aunt would come around asking if we need anything to eat etc, and he would kind of hurriedly shoo her away saying we’re fine, and that he is telling me a bedtime story or something like that. After that we moved our house so I was spared the ordeal of staying with them. When this happened, my aunt and uncle already had grandchildren, my uncle must have been 50-55 atleast..

I slowly shared it with my cousin a year later, and she said she underwent the same with him. We both were 10 years old then, we then created a diary, where we would draw pictures of him and then stab him with a knife, scribble ‘bad words’ over him or something like that or something to that effect.. I don’t remember clearly..

Several years later, my aunt passed away. I was in college then, my uncle’s drinking habits worsened, and I found him lying on the street one day,I had half a mind to leave him there , but then somehow, I quickly hailed an auto and dropped him back home. That day I came home and told my mother what had happened several years earlier, she was shocked and speechless. My little brother who overheard us talking, then walked into the room and confided in her too, that when he was 6 years old, that uncle had stripped in front of my brother and tried to force my brother to touch and feel him. My brother did it once or twice, was repulsed and ran out of the room, but had never mentioned it to anyone till date…

So that is 3 of us, as far as I know, who were abused by the uncle, if only I had spoken up, maybe I could have spared the other two from this ordeal? Or maybe I could have ruined my aunt’s life? I’m not sure.. He was the only breadwinner, and my aunt wasn’t working..Very recently I told his daughter-in- law about this, she wasn’t shocked at all, and she said she caught him trying to peek

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BeFunky_OldPhoto_5

2 Comments

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: Pune
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

Incident was : Recurring

Perpetrator was a Friend or acquaintance and aged 20-30

Experience:
this was years back when i was 5 or 6 years old and was repeatedly fingered by my drawing teacher..he lay me down once and stripped me and himself naked..
i did not respond… i didnt know what was happening..just knew i didnt like it..stopped drawing for the longest time without making any connections between him and this reaction..was repulsed by

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touch and only realized it was something i had shut out when i spoke about it when i turned 20..when i did though, taking a friend’s suggestion found this teacher again and yelled my lungs out at him..his reaction was “hota hai kabhi kabhi”..but i needed to do this to move on and i did..
feel like its important for kids to know about bad touch and good touch..7527_163892670922_4897532_n

6 Comments
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