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Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: On the road/Bangalore
Was wearing Chudithar/Salwar Kameez with dupatta
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 40-50486156_302985893141024_777130491_n

Experience:
Hello everyone..

First of all I wish to say that this really is a good initiative and I’m very happy to be a part of it. Before I started writing this, apparently I had to choose how and in what sort of way was I victimized, and the worst part was I did not know which of the options to choose from. This is because almost all of the options are applicable to me. I had to immediately brush away the thoughts that followed this hesitation and here I’m ready to share one such incident.

I was just going out somewhere with a friend, walking on the sidewalk of a very crowded road. My friend was walking in front of me and a special mention on the wardrobe, we were both wearing salwar kameez with duppatta, in other words neatly dressed just the way few people want a girl to be dressed. And also we were not talking or laughing or attracting any sort of attention. We just quietly walked on the side of the road, keeping as much distance as possible from the incoming predators with their piercing and exasperating stare. Suddenly there was too many men in front of us and one of those morons(some elderly one, worst part) conveniently placed his hands to his sides and as he passed us, brushed it on our legs, first on my friend followed by me.

At this point, I cannot even begin to describe the amount of hatred and anger that filled in my heart. I just turned and gave him a dirty look and moved away. He put on a face as if nothing happened which was much more irritating. This is a very convenient strategy used by so many assholes. My friend and I just went on as fast as we could from that place. We both could not control our anger and just started ditching him with the worst words we know. This was obviously a temporary relief and it did not make me feel any better. There were so many thoughts running in my mind, I felt so sad that I did not just slap him across his ugly, stupid face. Since that moment, I have been very careful when I walk on the roads, keeping a very safe distance from anyone I suspect and have also been building up courage in me to look into such(I seriously can’t think of a bad word now) stupid creatures’

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eye and just slap them.. slap them so hard that my hand hurts. But at least I will be happy.

In the middle of such thoughts, I happen to come across a totally different point of view. When I sat down and thought about why these idiots do what they do, the answer I got was because they do not respect or value themselves. The only way they can feel better(or that is what they think) is to hurt or molest others and feel superior. Especially in the case of men, the only way they have power over women is the physical form. This applies more to free thinking and independent women to whom insecure men subject such behaviour. Women often are pushed to believe that it was their fault that they are put through such non sense(I used to believe it too), but the truth is that it is not and it never is. One should be very careful to curb this thought because they tend to eat you up.

The ultimate fact is that, in this universe, we are all one, men, women, Hindu,, Muslim, Indian, American etc., there is the same spirit inside of all of us. These are just physical forms that we are presented in and it was our arrangement(or some male chauvinistic one) that differentiated men from women. From therein, there has been this kind of an odd treatment towards us women, in India especially, it is the worst. When we think from this point of view, when a guy dashes against you or tries to grope just to show his dominance or for perversion, it seems to be merely pathetic to me. As women, you and I do not need this kind of a barbaric satisfaction to feel better. Our powerful inner strength, the spiritual strength gets us through any situation. As I have always believed, I will always remain the same invaluable person while on the other hand the low life that is trying such acts will remain so all his life.(By this I mean only those men who have crossed my path and who are without any doubt perverts of the first order) Trying to apparently damage a women’s dignity by doing such unethical things will not put us nor our spirit down. Next time you go through or witness any such incident, just look them in the eye fearlessly, slap them and walk away with your held high. That is exactly what I’m raring to do.

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Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: Road/Guwahati
Was wearing Jeans and Shirt
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 20-30

Experience:
Childhood is the best phase of one’s life. It’s all about knowing you have the best set

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of people around you who’d always love you and keep you safe no matter what. It’s like a bubble. Floating around without a care. Groovy no? Except the fact that i’m a girl and I, like gazillion other girls, must face the rude facts of life. It’s like a given. An unspoken rule that every female’s modesty must be tested, invaded and breached.
It happened to me in Guwahati during Durga Puja, a festival that brings the city to life. I was in the 6th standard and like most young girls, squealed in delight at the thought of roaming around the city at midnight visiting one idol after another. The thought was exhilarating! Decked up in new clothes, I stepped out with my family. We decided to visit the idol at Lakshmi Temple, a very famous area, where a long walk had to be endured to reach the gates. I must’ve been walking really slow cause I saw everyone move up ahead, and no one next to me. From the opposite side a big bunch of drunk boys where approaching and I never forgot what happened after that. One of them touched my breast and walked away. Just like that! I was shocked! I couldn’t cry, partly because I didn’t know how to react! I never knew anyone could do such a thing! That day I was introduced to the big bad world where perverts roamed around freely and I still feel that it was at that moment, a part of my innocence was taken away.

First time is always painful. I still feel angry when I think over it. I should’ve shouted, hit him, thrown a stone, made a scene… I should’ve done SOMETHING! I never told this to anyone thinking people might laugh at me. But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. If people can rape girls and get away with

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it shamelessly, us girls, of all people, should show no shame in admitting we were victimized!
I strongly feel it’s time all girls in the country and outside became shameless. Shameless in punishing the guilty. Shameless in sharing our bad experiences. Shameless in breaking every rule that animals make. After all, shame deserves to lie in their ugly, twisted hearts… not ours.

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Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: IFFCO chowk Traffic Signal at 3 in the afternoon, Gurgaon
Was wearing Jeans and Kurta

Incident was : One time
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

 

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 30-40

Experience:
I was on a cycle rickshaw and we stopped when the traffic signal turned red on IFFCO chowk. This is a signal that is very busy, with close to 200 cars stopping at any point of time, that day was no different. 2 men on a bike came and stopped right beside my rickshaw and started singing cheap songs and passing lewd comments coupled with whistling. It was a 3 in the afternoon, I was fully dressed and was minding my own business.

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The best I could do was ignore and wait for the light to turn green. There were 100’s of cars surrounding us, but none of them raised any concern, of course, why would they? They are comfortable inside their cars. Though nothing happened, I was traumatised by such a thing happening in broad daylight, amidst hundreds of other people.download

3 Comments

Gender woman

Was: a victimnight road
City: Near my PG in Indira Nagar, Bangalore
Was wearing Jeans and Shirt
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 20-30

Experience:
I was returning after dinner at a restaurant called High Note. One of my male friends was with me. As we were nearing my pg, two men in a motorbike started following us. They seemed inebriated. They were passing lewd comments. My friend advised me not to make eye contact as this would only goad them. He threatened to call the police but this didn’t have any impact on them. We had almost reached my pg when the men swerved and almost hit us. They started asking us whether we were a couple and whether we

were ‘having fun.’ I asked my friend to come inside my pg as I felt it wasn’t safe for him to walk back to the main road. The men disappeared around the kerb but then, a few minutes later, they came back. Then again, they rode around the kerb. My friend called a cab and I waited with him till it arrived. The men, by then, had left. These are rowdies who feel they have the freedom to do what they want because they know they won’t have to face the consequences of their actions. The trajectory of other womens’ stories might vary, but the helplessness we feel is the same. The anger we feel is the same.

2 Comments

Gender womanphoto

Was: a victim
City: Chennai Roads
Was wearing Chudithar/Salwar Kameez with dupatta

Reaction : Moved away silently

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 20-30

Experience:
When early morning tuition classes were the norm, my folks got me a scooty that I used to ride to a

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class barely 5 mins from where we lived. One morning, I had a random guy in his lungi and baniyan follow me around in his TVS 50 n scare the shit out of me. He would deliberately ride close enough to touch/tease and shout out slangs throughout the ride. At 5 AM and with no one around to help, I was so scared and scarred that I told my mom about it as soon as I got back from class.

Every day for a week since that morning, my dad used to follow me around from a distance in his car cos he wanted to catch this TVS 50 Romeo in action and teach him a lesson. But the guy didn’t show up. I wish he had, cos my dad would have bashed his skull to pieces.

Every single time I’ve stepped out alone since that morning – I’ve been alert and awake, have developed an acute listening skill and an ability to spot the slightest oddity within seconds of surveying a scene. It tires me out – but I will never stop doing it. That incident (and a few others) have caused so much anger in me. Anger cos I was scared. Anger because I let myself be scared.

I’ve laid awake in trains all night long for fear of being groped by strangers. I’ve always been chauffeured in cars and have rarely taken the bus cos my parents were more comfortable with that. I am not complaining about the comfort, but only about the the way freedom redefines itself for girls in India.

1 Comment

Was: a victim

Happened in the Roads in Noida

Victim was wearing Jeans and Shirt

Incident was : One time

Reaction: Reacted (yelling, complaining, slapping, fighting back)
Perpetrator was a Stranger in the age group 20-30

Experience:
I came to know that my girlfriend stopped going to her coaching classes in night as her parents asked her to stay indoors at night to avoid mishap. I felt it’s wrong and I offered her help. I used to take her to her coaching institute when her classes were in the night.

Nothing bad ever happened until that Sunday when I realized that Noida is super unsafe. I was driving my back with my girlfriend sitting at the back. I just went across sector 12 when I heard someone abusing from the back. My girlfriend asked if I did something wrong. I shook my head to say no.

Then I saw a white Maruti car with four well built guys. They were passing comments and tried to hit my motor bike with their car. What I understood was that they were trying to instigate me to fight. But I knew my girlfriend was in huge trouble and so I acted accordingly. I knew I can’t fight four guys alone but I can beat them with my brain.

I was dissolved in the thoughts of saving my girlfriend when the driver approached closer to my motor bike and hit my hand powerfully so that I fall down with the motor bike. But I didn’t let the control go. I then started playing the game of acceleration-deceleration

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and cheated them with speed.

While all this was happening I couldn’t see general public coming for support and also there were no police posts. In short, I was helpless. This all happened at 7:30 PM on Sunday.

Somehow I saved myself and my girlfriend and then I made her reach the class. I was happy that nothing happened to her and she didn’t miss her class. This incident didn’t deter me to stop helping my girlfriend. But till this day we both talk about that incident.

I am now too far away from my girlfriend to help her in such a situation. But I have asked her to be brave and take safer means of transport. There are many more stories that she told me. But I have asked her to be brave and to report things to her parents, me and police in case anything goes wrong.

 

8 Comments