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Gender Male

Was: a victim
City: Chennai
Was wearing I don’t remember
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured
Incident was: Recurring

Perpetrator was a Neighbour and aged Less than 20

Experience:
Today, I’m a changemaker and try to bring about a positive change in the lives of children and young adults through education but I wasn’t always like this.
I was a below average student (medical reasons) and was always told how good people around are in their academic pursuits.
I was about 12 years old when I started facing sexual harassment at the hands of my neighbour who was in his late teens. He was supposed to be like a brother helping me with my academic shortcomings but in the absence of my anybody at our homes he would make be perform oral favours to him that I

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would not well comprehend in the initial days but soon I could sense it was not something that was meant to be. His next advancement was towards my sister who was about 3 years younger to me which I realised could be bad and started spending more time with this man so that his advances towards my sister could be checked. It worked but at the cost of severe mental trauma to me which has not allowed me to engage in any form of sexual encouters even after 18 years. He had to relocate to a different town for his post graduation and the abuse stopped in about a year but I cant imagine what could have happened to me if this man had continued living in my neighbourhood as a extended member of my family.
I put through this inspite of knowing that my parents are brave to confront anything head on if it affects us (I & my sister) as I was not sure how to communicate this awkward situation to my angle gaurdians who could not see through the evil thoughts and actions of their otherwise pious neighbour.child-abuse-1
This is not an isolated incident and over the years I’ve come across many such

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people living in our society who do this to kids irrespective of the gender. Had it not been for the moral education of my parents I would have turned to be one of those culprits myself!!! My study of psychology helps me understand the rationale that suppressed

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emotions become part of your character, especially if it is not addressed in a timely manner.

Unlike the US or many other countries we do not have a knowledge base of how to handle these issues. What HumanFirst should work towards is building a knowledgebase of possible problems and how to tackle them physically, emotionally and legally.

 

* Name changed on request

1 Comment

Gender Female

Was: a victim
City: House/Hyderabad
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured
Incident was: One time

Perpetrator was a Neighbouimagesr and aged 40-50

Experience:
I was 12 or younger- I was walking down the street near my house in the afternoon. It was a sleepy residential area, considered very safe, when a guy started stalking me. I did not know it at the time and hence was oblivious. I felt someone staring at me and when I turned back, he was across the road, he had removed his penis out and was leering at me. I was brought up in such a conservative family that there were no talks ever about anything related to guys or sex or anything. In fact, at the time, I was so clueless, it took me a while to realize that was his penis. I was more scared of the expression on his face- he had an ugly look of hunger. I got very frightened and ran away from there. I brushed it off as one brushes off seeing a mad person on the road.

The next time was when I was in eighth class and returned from school earlier than usual. I was supposed to pick up my keys and my snack box for my tuition from my neighbor- this was a regular thing in case my mother had to go out. When I when to the neighbor’s house, I got to know that

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he was the only one home and as soon as I had my back turned to him, he grabbed me from behind and groped me. I was stunned and could not move for some time. Then I mumbled that my mom will be coming now and fought and pushed him away and ran…

I was always told not to trust strangers/ wear traditional clothes etc. and hence was very very guilty after this. I remember nothing but guilt, not even hatred for him. I did not wish that he should not have done it- I only wished that I wasn’t trusting- because, as far as I knew, we are supposed to be very careful or else…

I know now that I was not at fault, except when I could have shouted out, told people about it. But I was never taught that it was okay to talk about this. Even when my mother taught me basic hygiene, it was with a rightly expression of disgust- it was not in our culture to question/talk about any of this… forget any education about how to address all the sexual energy.
I hope something changes with initiatives like this.
There were many more incidents other than the above two. Enough of those happened in public transport that I think it is as safe as walking through a red light area at midnight- although it is a myth that most sexual assaults happen at night. Or to scantily clad rebellious girls.

*-Name changed on request

No Comments

Gender man

Was: a witness
City: Society/Gurgaon
Was wearing Long Skirt and top
Reaction: Reacted (yelling, complaining, slapping, fighting back)

Perpetrator was a Neighbour and aged 20-30

Incident was : One time

Experience:
This happened to a close friend of mine, in 2010 when she was around 21 years old. I am going to narrate this in first person, as she had told to me. I think it will have a better effect.

To take a break from stress, I had gone with two long-time close male friends whom I and my family trusted, to a regular pub. After some drinks I had become unexpectedly drowsy. We were about to leave, and were approached by a guy whom I just knew from my neighbourhood. He’d asked me out once but nothing had come off it and we weren’t friends or anything. This man claimed to be my friend from my society and offered to drop me home. I was too drowsy at the time to confirm or deny, and my friends, with a few drinks in themselves, thought it to be convenient and so loaded me into his car and let me go.
I was in a totally dazed state at the time and had only fleeting glimpses of where I was and what was going on. We entered my society, and he led me up the building. But after we entered the apartment it turned out it wasn’t my home; it was his. I was totally confused at the time and was asking where my home was. He didn’t even bother asking me or explaining his intentions to me. He lay me down, undressed me and himself, and only when he was just about to enter me, God knows what force took over me but I reacted and pushed him off with my legs violently. This convulsion finally forced me back to some degree of consciousness, and struck some fear in him. I figured out what was going on, screamed at him, pulled my stuff back together and ran out of there and got back home.

At home I broke down completely and after a long time was able to relay the events to my mother. But I just didn’t have the heart to tell anything to my father. After recovering a bit by the next day, I confronted the man who tried to rape me, and he pretended total innocence, claiming that I was in by consent, and asked me to forget the whole thing and move on!

When I told my friends (who were supposed to look after me) about the events, they first defended themselves without even bothering to understand what I’d just been through! I don’t even remember what I had said to them in my drowsiness, but according to them it was enough to completely trust a stranger with me! They shifted the blame to me, saying I should have told them properly. How the hell could I have, in the state I was in?? I had gone WITH them specifically so they could step in and PROTECT me in case I can’t protect myself. Oh, and the best defense all three of these men had for themselves: “It’s not my fault, I was drunk, not completely in my senses.”

It was a very long time, several weeks of crying and questioning before my friend was able to move on to some degree of normalcy. She didn’t have the ability to approach the police and risk all that exposure (especially a place like Gurgaon!). So that bastard got away and who knows, he might have repeated it again with other women also by now. Heck, she couldn’t even tell her dad or siblings. Her own childhood friends had abandoned her and then shrugged off all responsibility. Anything could have happened to her that night. It was sheer luck that it happened in her own housing colony that she was able to run back to her home on foot. Many others in her place have not been so lucky. For a long time after this she would keep asking me if there was something wrong with her, if really somehow she was to blame for what happened, and if not then why does the world act like it?

I was very disturbed on hearing this. I had just moved to another city and could do nothing except be a listener and consoler. We could not bring any attention to the matter – her father was NOT to know. The attacker is at best, another regular young male just like me. When with my buddies we regularly fantasized and joked about one-night stands, “if only I could get some chick drunk enough so I can bang her”. The same thoughts must have run through that guy and without caring about her consent, he jumped at the opportunity. But upon seeing this from my friend’s perspective, and listening and feeling how it feels to be on the receiving end, I was just shaken completely and left questioning my manhood, my ego, everything that made me proud of myself as a man. What if I or one of

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my friends ends up doing something like this?

I think the best way to prevent something like this from happening with others, is to share the story and shame other men for the attitude we have towards women. I’m doing this for her and for everyone who has or will be through such an experience, and for everyone who’s ever thought of doing something like this to a woman. I know I have. Thank you for creating a space for this.

*-Name changed on requestimages

2 Comments

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: House/Haryana
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Moved away silently

Incident was : Recurring

Perpetrator was a Neighbour and aged Less than 20

Experience:
I think I was 5-6 years old. Yes, so I was just a kid. We would generally go to this house next door to play with the family. I think he must be hardly 15 years of age and I considered him just as my elder brother. He would call me in the afternoons, would undress me, and lick me. I remember this happening twice. I, myself dint know what was it since I was grown up enough to understand everything. At that time, I don’t even know how I escaped out of it. Now it just seems to be a nightmare that something like this happened. I don’t remember anything from my childhood but, this incident. What was my fault? I was innocent and ignorant. I din’t know what was happening to me.

Now, he is married, has a son. What does he envision for his son? To be just another cheapster like him?!

*- Name changed on request

ChinaDoll

No Comments

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: Shop

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near house, Nellore, AP

Was wearing Short skirt and top

Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Neighbour and aged 20-30

Experience:
It happened when I was in 4th std. I used to go for morning walk with my grand pa every day and stop by a shop while returning to buy newspaper. As we go there often, the shop keeper used to talk nicely and be very kind to me. He would be in his thirties.

That bad day, when I went alone to the shop it was 7AM in the morning I still remember it. That fellow suddenly took me into the shop and started touching my chest, putting his hands on my private parts and started undressing me. I was shocked and didn’t know what to do. Fortunately, someone came and somehow I could manage to escape. I didn’t know what happened to me but I was hurt physically and mentally.

Only after few years later, I realized how bad it was. Even now I thank that person who saved me.

This is a video which prevents child abuse. Check it out and create awareness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6aH8Rwax09A

newspaper

No Comments

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: Bangalore
Was wearing Sari/Half Sari
Reaction: Moved away silently

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Neighbour and aged 20-30

Experience:
Everyone shared their experiences in which the man / woman had been helpless victims. What about relationship or friendship as adults we enter into with a wrong person which ends up in a mishap. These are relationships we encourage or knowingly enter into . Forgive my english .
First of all I would like to state my own case . I grew up in a joint family with my cousin brothers and neighbours . Our neighbour had one daughter of my age and a son of my younger cousin brother ‘s age. We grew up together playing in the streets . After my marriage , my husband left abroad and I came to live with my parents for nearly two years. I had given birth to my daughter by then. My neighbour ‘s daughter was also married , settled abroad and was expecting her first child. Hence her mom left abroad to attend her . Her son was in the final year medicine . He use to call me sister as I was much elder to him. Since we were neighbours from childhood he use to visit my house often and play with my daughter. After his mom left abroad he had faced some problems in his college which he use to share with me. I regarded him like my brother and offer him food whenever he comes to my place., since his mother was abroad .after a few weeks I noticed difference in his behaviour ,

in the way he spoke and looked at me. One day when he came home I was sleeping in the living room in sofa when I felt that he had pressed my chest . I woke up with a jerk luckily my mom came out of the kitchen and he moved away. She didn’t notice or suspect as he is like my cousin brother . I didn’t tell anyone but till this day I feel I should have seen it coming . He became very emotionally dependent on me for the few months, but I didn’t suspect anything wrong since he was much younger to me, medical professional who had chance of meeting girls of his age . I am in my forties today but I m still doubtful of boys educated or not .images

No Comments

Was: a victim

IMG_4529City: Neighbourhood tuition/Bangalore

Victim was wearing school uniform

Reaction : Moved away silently

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a neighbour, of age less than 20
Experience:
I was 5, barely 6 and it was during the summer vacations before I joined primary school. Hindi was the first language chosen, and my parents wanted me to get a headstart. So they enrolled me in a Hindi class with the Marwadi aunty who lived next door. She had a teenaged son, 17 or 18 years of age, I don’t really remember.

One day, she left with in the home alone with her son and went grocery shopping. The boy took advantage of this situation, undressed in front of me and coaxed me to touch his penis. Scared and helpless, I ran away from there, got home and never went back again.

I am pretty sure I never told my mother everything that happened, the details are too vague to me right now. But what I clearly remember is that, at 5 – I knew it was wrong. I just didn’t know I wasn’t to blame. As a kid I suppose every child would feel the same way. As parents or future parents, while we must drive the change to educate children on what is a ‘good touch’ and what is a ‘bad touch’, we must also ensure that we

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tell them that they can come and talk to us and know that they will be heard and supported.

This is only one of the numerous instances where I was violated – by words, be perverted looks and by roving hands. As I grew older, I fought with pocket knives, safety pins and my bare hands. Yet I always remember this incident where as a child I was helpless and confused, and I hope it doesn’t happen to any kid again.

No Comments

Woman, Victim

It happened in a Playground/Hyderabad

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Victim was wearing a School Uniform and was Helpless, Passively Endured

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Neighbour, in the age group of 30-40

I was in my 7th standard. This army guy was a neighbor. Brother and I played with him after school everyday. And sometimes, I would go and play alone too. His family was away. And one day, he joked about something. He just held me..Like you rotate kids in the air holding their arms. He did the same. After a bit, he felt my chest part and held me too tight which was when I felt extremely uncomfortable. I knew something was wrong about that, and I was uncomfortable and scared about sharing with my mom. I never really told anyone. But I kind of hated that guy after that day. And never went his place again. I knew something was wrong, but was too young and ignorant. Didn’t know what it was. Kids should be taught that they shouldn’t be touched in their private parts in a wrong way.

* – Name changed on request

 

1 Comment