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Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: Train/Chennai
Was wearing Jeans and Kurta
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Enduredimage7

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and older than 50

Experience:
A victim of exhibitionism!

When I sat down to write to my story, the first question that came to mind is   “which incident should I write about “. Though it seems silly, the truth is I have been a victim (in appropriate touching / verbal / visual) more than once…

This incident happened during my under grad days in a crowded electric day train. I was traveling to Bangalore from Chennai along with my best friend. After sometime, I noticed that a man was standing next to my seat. I have no clue when / which station he boarded. He was around 50 years old. Dressed well and had a briefcase in his hand.  He politely asked us, at which train station we are going to get down so that he sit in my seat. At that point since he looked genuine we did reply to him. After this conversation, he adjusted his position and location such that he is clearly visible to us!!

After 30 minutes or so, I noticed that my friend was behaving weird and felt very uncomfortable. She abruptly stopped talking to me and turned the other direction. I asked her what was going on.(??)

All she said was “Nish! Antha poruki ena panara paren…” (Look at him)

I looked at the guy and was shocked to see what he was doing. He was showing his genitals from a distance and trying to do “IT”. At this point if you are wondering how he managed to do it in public..?? , this is what he did – He comfortably held his briefcase in such a way so that except us no one can see his golden act. He realized that we noticed what he was doing and became more “happy”.  When all this was happening, he retained calmness in his face and no one will even suspect that something was going on.  Now and then he casually looked around to make sure no one else noticed him.

Both of us didn’t know what to. We felt embarrassed to complain about it to our fellow passengers. After 10 min we couldn’t take it anymore.
This is what we did: I asked a co-passenger (male) if he can switch place with us. Since the guy was at distance he couldn’t hear our conversation. He though I was complaining about him and left the place immediately and never came back.
While were getting down at the Bangalore station, we spotted him in another compartment standing next a little gal (~15 years old probably). We both knew ‘why the hell’ he was standing there.

Both of us just looked at each other sadly…

3 Comments

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: IFFCO chowk Traffic Signal at 3 in the afternoon, Gurgaon
Was wearing Jeans and Kurta

Incident was : One time
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

 

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 30-40

Experience:
I was on a cycle rickshaw and we stopped when the traffic signal turned red on IFFCO chowk. This is a signal that is very busy, with close to 200 cars stopping at any point of time, that day was no different. 2 men on a bike came and stopped right beside my rickshaw and started singing cheap songs and passing lewd comments coupled with whistling. It was a 3 in the afternoon, I was fully dressed and was minding my own business.

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The best I could do was ignore and wait for the light to turn green. There were 100’s of cars surrounding us, but none of them raised any concern, of course, why would they? They are comfortable inside their cars. Though nothing happened, I was traumatised by such a thing happening in broad daylight, amidst hundreds of other people.download

3 Comments

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: Bus

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from Kerala to Bangalore
Was wearing Jeans and Kurta
Reaction: Reacted (yelling, complaining, slapping, fighting back)

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and imagesaged 20-30

Experience:
I have faced numerous incidents where different types of perverts tried to touch me inappropriately, mostly while travelling in a bus/train. I will post as much stories as possible, since I hope that it may inspire atleast one person who usually suffer in silence decide to open their mouth and react.

I was travelling from my hometown to Bangalore in a Volvo bus on a Sunday evening when this incident happened. Me and another girl were sitting on adjacent seats. Behind us were 2 guys, college students probably. Initially we did not even notice who were sitting behind us.

When it was late night, when lights were dim and almost everyone was sleeping in the bus, the girl sitting next to me told that the guys sitting behind us are probably drinking as she could smell alcohol. After a few minutes, I felt there is a hand on my seat very close to my face. I slowly moved my head away from the hand. Then I could see that the hand is moving closer to me.

In a normal circumstance I would have chosen to make use of a safety pin or a blade or a nail cutter, but all these things were not accessible to me as it was stashed under my seat. I decided to speak up and I turned to him and asked “Whats your problem”. His reply was, he wants to take something from his bag which is under my seat and as I have pushed the seat back, he could not take it.

I pulled the seat up and asked him to take whatever he wanted fast. He said he is done and I pushed it back again. After a few minutes later, his hand was again on my seat. I could also feel a foot being pushed up through the gap of the seat and backrest. I decided he should not be left like that. I again asked him what he needed. This time his reply was that he cannot sit because my seat is reclining.

I told him that every other seat in the bus is reclining and I offered him that we can exchange seats with him so that we will be sitting behind them. He did not want to do that and was again trying to touch me.

I must point out that not a single person in the bus even opened their mouth or offered a help. I directly went to the bus attender and told that we are having trouble with these people and we would like to have the seats changed.

Thankfully, he was a good man. He came inside, and took this guy to the back of the bus. I have no idea what was the conversation they had. When he came back, the attender told me, you will have no more problems and if there is any trouble, just let him know.

After that the rest of the bus ride was peaceful and he did not attempt to trouble me.

No Comments

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: Bangalore- KSRTC bus
Was wearing Jeans and Kurta
Reaction: Reacted (yelling, complaining, slapping, fighting back)

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 40-50

Experience:
On a night-time bus where the ladies seat was not available, I was a little relieved to see that I was sitting next to a decent-looking educated man(a well paid professional from the looks of it),probably in his mid-forties.
This relief was short-lived, since after 2-3 hours had passed I felt a hand on my thigh. I pushed it away, giving his ‘asleep’ state the benefit of the doubt since it was after all an overnight journey and he had seemed quite a passive man. However this was repeated in a manner that is unmistakeable a few more times and I had had it. I didn’t create a scene as I probably should have to humiliate this prick. But I did take his hand the next time with both of mine, and twisted his fingers hard until I was sure he would feel pain. And I got off at the first stop I could.KSRTC_Volvo_Airavat

No Comments

unGender woman

Was: a victim
City: Train
Was wearing Jeans and Kurta
Reaction: Reacted (yelling, complaining, slapping, fighting back)

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 20-30

Experience:
I was twenty then, I was returning to Mumbai from Ahmadabad. I had gone there for a wedding of a close cousin. I was travelling alone as I had to be in Mumbai for an exam that was scheduled for the next day. Due to the ongoing marriage season, there was too much of rush, and so I had to travel in the sleeper class. I was allotted the middle-birth. I normally never sleep during the train journeys. However, due to too much of stress, I couldn’t keep my eyes open that day. I was in deep sleep when I suddenly got a sensation of somebody caressing my feet. Horrified, I got up, but due to dim lights I saw no-one. My brain kept telling me that it was a nightmare, but my conscience couldn’t fathom that. I tried sleeping back. Fifteen minutes later, I had a hand over me, groping my breast. I didn’t have time to get shocked, my instincts made me screech. He tried escaping, but I grabbed the collar of his shirt and gave him a tight slap on his face. By then, I had woken up everyone in the compartment. The lights were switched on, and then I saw the face of my worst nightmare; his face was the most civilized face I had seen on the

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train that day. He was beaten up and handed over to the on board police. I couldn’t get myself to close my eyes, even for a second, after that. I was sickened; I cursed myself, still do, for letting my mind sleep. I’m so devastated by that incident that, I dread travelling alone by train, and I haven’t, since then.

7 Comments

GvtmQCCIMDOTTIPVDVQQender woman

Was: a victim
City: Street/Bangalore
Was wearing Jeans and Kurta
Reaction: Reacted (yelling, complaining, slapping, fighting back)

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 20-30

Experience:
I used to walk to my work place that was about 20 minutes away from the Paying Guest (PG) Accommodation in CBI Road, RT Nagar,Bangalore. The PG lady was so proud of her “posh locality” that she had to talk about it at least once everyday.

One day, as usual, I was heading back from work at about 7pm. The street was dark (thanks to the notorious power cuts), but I had no qualms. After all, it was a “posh locality” and nothing should go wrong.

Then this motorcyclist came by, hit my chest really hard and sped past.

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I was caught unguarded. I remember screaming profanities at the top of my lungs and almost clutching a tree branch. The blow was so strong and I almost fell down. I was so angry and till date, I regret not noting down the number of his vehicle.

Later I came to know that many of my PG mates were harassed and molested by a motorcyclist on the same road, even during day time. The PG lady said that she would take action (nothing really happened) and blamed us for our dressing sense!!!

No Comments

tawang-road

Gender woman
Was: a victim
City: Army accomodation/Arunachal Pradesh
Was wearing jeans and kurta

Reaction : Reacted (yelling,complaining,slapping, fighting back)

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger

Experience :

I have been reserving my comments on the recent gang-rape in Delhi all the while. Honestly, I wasn’t surprised when I heard about it. Yes, it was interesting to watch the nation react to it. Ofcourse, I feel sorry for the victim and her family. But if you think about it objectively, this is just the tip of the iceberg. What we need to address as a civic society is why this happened. The protests are a good sign, a small hope that our society hasn’t degraded completely. People have attributed several reasons to this crime, ranging from bad governance to alcohol and failing social values. One can get into endless discussions on this without generating any solution. So I donot want to get drawn into that loop.I wish to convey a message to all women out there, through an incident that happened in my life. Forgive my writing skills for I donot pursue literature anymore 🙂

This happened a few years back when I was still short-sighted and stupid. During a summer break I decided to travel to Assam and Arunachal Pradesh by myself. I had a friend in Assam, so I had company till Tezpur. But beyond that point I was my own master. My plan was to visit the buddhist monastery in Tawang and spend a day there. For the uninitiated, Tawang is an idyllic village in Arunachal Pradesh. I climbed on to a shared vehicle of some sort with ten other men from Tezpur thinking I would reach Tawang in a couple of hours. My fellow passengers were visibly shocked and uncomfortable to see a woman travel by herself in those parts. But that discussion didn’t progess much since I didn’t speak anything besides English. Anyway, after almost twelve hours on the road, I reached Tawang in one piece. I checked in at the goverment guest house for the night. So far, so good! What I didnot realise was that while I was enjoying the breathtaking beauty of Tawang, there was a landslide a few miles away which made my return to Tezpur the next day impossible. I stayed an extra day, but somehow the situation around me was making me nervous. Apparently, the only way to get out of the place was to be saved by the army. Before I forget, Tawang and other parts of north-east India are heavily guarded by the Indian army. You tend to see more army personnel than civilians there. There were a few others who had the same issue as I had, so we decided to go as far as we can and then walk for the rest. I set out with a sardar(who was an army officer as well), with the hope of reaching Tezpur safe and sound. Things went well for a while. We took whatever transport we found and then walked for more than 20kms till it turned dark. We managed to reach the army camp at Tenga valley by then. I saw troops of army officers and for the first time felt extremely uncomfortable that I was a woman. The Major was surprised to see me there and offered a room at their mess for

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the night. I finally had food and water and a bed to sleep on after hours on the road. I was so exhausted that I didnot realise that somebody was trying to open the door to my room in the middle of the night. I woke up when I sensed a man in my room. I dragged myself out of bed and tried to turn on the light, but I realised that he had cut off the power supply and the telephone lines to my room. I could hear him speak obscenities in hindi. After a few minutes of struggle, I managed to lock myself in the bathroom. That is when I realised how scared I was. I have never experienced such fear in my life. Amidst all his efforts to open the bathroom door, I held on to it with all my strength. He must have given up at some point. I held on to the door till I could see the sun rise. After what was undoubtedly the longest night of my life, I fled from that place with whatever I could grab. I ran till I found a group of people going to Tezpur.

I donot wish to dramatize the incident and talk about lack of facilities in the north-east of India and the neglect they face from the goverment. I donot want to blame the army officer who tried to rape me either. I still don’t know who he was. The bottomline is however independent and strong-willed women are, we are not safe. We cannot win over a man in a physical battle. At the risk of sounding old-fashioned and conservative, I request all girls out there to never travel alone in India. Always travel during the day and use public transport as much as possible. Try to organise your travel in groups. You cannot trust even those who don the roles of protectors. It is better to take precautionary measures than deal with something else later. I consider myself lucky to have come out safe from that incident. But I still haven’t been able to forget the trauma. I can only speculate how much fear and helplessness a rape victim would go through. So it is best to avoid dangerous situations as much as you can. If you still have to face one, then pray that you have the strength to carry-on with a normal life later. Let it not affect your life’s journey in any way.

3 Comments

418692_10151035339323233_331816466_nGender: Woman

Was: a victim
City: Bangalore
Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 20-30

Was wearing Jeans and Kurta

Incident was : One time

Reaction : Helpless/Passively endured

Experience:
I was travelling in a night bus from Calicut to Bangalore. I usually never sleep in buses in India because of the very bad experiences I had.

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The bus had to pull over somewhere because of a break down and it was totally dark. Then felt some hand uncovering the blanket and trying to slide through my jeans. I just caught hold of the hand and twisted it. Came to know that it was one of the cleaners sleeping on the aisle. The whole night I sat on my sleeping berth, ashamed and enraged. And I didn’t tell anyone in the bus for fear of mockery. This is one incident that made me realize how unsafe the night transportation system in India is for a woman.

No Comments