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Gender Male

Was: a victim
City: Main road in Chennai
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured
Incident was: One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 40-50

Experience:
What could possibly go wrong by just accepting a ride back home from school?

The incident happened when I was in high school (standard XI).  I was walking home from school when an old(ish) man with grey hair and riding a motorcycle, stopped and offered me a ride till the bus stop at the end of the road. I figured I was lucky that day since I had never got an offer from any stranger before, and I was in a hurry back home anyway; I accepted the ride. Halfway towards the bus stop, he asked me where my house was; I told him, and he replied that he is anyway going somewhere close by and he can drop me in a bus stop near my house. I agreed a second time, thinking that I was lucky after all.

However, soon after, in the middle of the road, he stuck his hand behind him, and started rubbing my genital organ. I resisted his advances, but I did not have the nerve to react or fight back. This went on for a little distance, and then he took my hand in front of him & forced me to rub his organ. I resisted a bit more, at which point he threatened me saying, “Don’t act like a good boy. I know what you do when you boys are alone.” (By the way, he spoke fluent English.) I was initially too stunned at that comment to react; slowly I mustered my courage and forced him to stop by threatening him that I will try to get the attention of a traffic cop standing nearby.

I got down immediately after he stopped the vehicle, but he didn’t let me go completely. He caught my hand, forced it up on his genitalia and asked me to squeeze it for him. “One hard squeeze, and I will let you go.” I was just thinking of getting out of there asap, so I first obeyed him instinctively. But he was not satisfied with my squeeze, asking me to tighten my grip more & more. When I couldn’t take it anymore after a stage, I just loosened my grip and repeated my warning that I will call for attention unless he lets me go. He relented finally, and I walked away.

Aftermath: I was quite shocked for a few days after the incident. Fortunately, however, the incident was rather brief, and it did not leave any long-term or disastrous impact on me. I do think about it from time to time, feeling embarrassed by my helplessness in that situation. Finally, this incident remained a complete secret for about seven years, until I told my friend last year. I did not know how to bring it up with my parents, friends, or teachers.Photo-on-2-22-13-at-6.26-PM

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Gender Female

Was: a victim
City: House/Hyderabad
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured
Incident was: One time

Perpetrator was a Neighbouimagesr and aged 40-50

Experience:
I was 12 or younger- I was walking down the street near my house in the afternoon. It was a sleepy residential area, considered very safe, when a guy started stalking me. I did not know it at the time and hence was oblivious. I felt someone staring at me and when I turned back, he was across the road, he had removed his penis out and was leering at me. I was brought up in such a conservative family that there were no talks ever about anything related to guys or sex or anything. In fact, at the time, I was so clueless, it took me a while to realize that was his penis. I was more scared of the expression on his face- he had an ugly look of hunger. I got very frightened and ran away from there. I brushed it off as one brushes off seeing a mad person on the road.

The next time was when I was in eighth class and returned from school earlier than usual. I was supposed to pick up my keys and my snack box for my tuition from my neighbor- this was a regular thing in case my mother had to go out. When I when to the neighbor’s house, I got to know that

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he was the only one home and as soon as I had my back turned to him, he grabbed me from behind and groped me. I was stunned and could not move for some time. Then I mumbled that my mom will be coming now and fought and pushed him away and ran…

I was always told not to trust strangers/ wear traditional clothes etc. and hence was very very guilty after this. I remember nothing but guilt, not even hatred for him. I did not wish that he should not have done it- I only wished that I wasn’t trusting- because, as far as I knew, we are supposed to be very careful or else…

I know now that I was not at fault, except when I could have shouted out, told people about it. But I was never taught that it was okay to talk about this. Even when my mother taught me basic hygiene, it was with a rightly expression of disgust- it was not in our culture to question/talk about any of this… forget any education about how to address all the sexual energy.
I hope something changes with initiatives like this.
There were many more incidents other than the above two. Enough of those happened in public transport that I think it is as safe as walking through a red light area at midnight- although it is a myth that most sexual assaults happen at night. Or to scantily clad rebellious girls.

*-Name changed on request

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IMG_0810Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: house-Chennai
Was wearing Short skirt and top
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Family member or Relative and aged 40-50

Experience:

I was 12 or 13, I use to visit my uncle’s place very often as a kid. I really enjoyed the company of my cousins, we spent a lot of time together as kids. So, one night as usual my uncle was drunk and he was tell us a story, me and my girl cousin. I thought he was trying to put us to sleep. We lied down in a row, my uncle was facing my back. He had his drunk face over my face. as he was narrating something, I felt some thing slimy in my back. I didn’t know what it was, all I knew is that it didn’t feel good. I was feeling really uncomfortable. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. He kept push in that slimy thing of his into my butt. After what seemed like half an hour or so, I finally got up, saying I wanna go to the restroom and went and slept in my aunt’s room.
I am 18 now. it was very recent that I realized that i was a victim of child sexual abuse. the memory is still fresh in my mind. I don’t know how to over come it, or get rid of that memory.

1 Comment

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: On the road/Bangalore
Was wearing Chudithar/Salwar Kameez with dupatta
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 40-50486156_302985893141024_777130491_n

Experience:
Hello everyone..

First of all I wish to say that this really is a good initiative and I’m very happy to be a part of it. Before I started writing this, apparently I had to choose how and in what sort of way was I victimized, and the worst part was I did not know which of the options to choose from. This is because almost all of the options are applicable to me. I had to immediately brush away the thoughts that followed this hesitation and here I’m ready to share one such incident.

I was just going out somewhere with a friend, walking on the sidewalk of a very crowded road. My friend was walking in front of me and a special mention on the wardrobe, we were both wearing salwar kameez with duppatta, in other words neatly dressed just the way few people want a girl to be dressed. And also we were not talking or laughing or attracting any sort of attention. We just quietly walked on the side of the road, keeping as much distance as possible from the incoming predators with their piercing and exasperating stare. Suddenly there was too many men in front of us and one of those morons(some elderly one, worst part) conveniently placed his hands to his sides and as he passed us, brushed it on our legs, first on my friend followed by me.

At this point, I cannot even begin to describe the amount of hatred and anger that filled in my heart. I just turned and gave him a dirty look and moved away. He put on a face as if nothing happened which was much more irritating. This is a very convenient strategy used by so many assholes. My friend and I just went on as fast as we could from that place. We both could not control our anger and just started ditching him with the worst words we know. This was obviously a temporary relief and it did not make me feel any better. There were so many thoughts running in my mind, I felt so sad that I did not just slap him across his ugly, stupid face. Since that moment, I have been very careful when I walk on the roads, keeping a very safe distance from anyone I suspect and have also been building up courage in me to look into such(I seriously can’t think of a bad word now) stupid creatures’

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eye and just slap them.. slap them so hard that my hand hurts. But at least I will be happy.

In the middle of such thoughts, I happen to come across a totally different point of view. When I sat down and thought about why these idiots do what they do, the answer I got was because they do not respect or value themselves. The only way they can feel better(or that is what they think) is to hurt or molest others and feel superior. Especially in the case of men, the only way they have power over women is the physical form. This applies more to free thinking and independent women to whom insecure men subject such behaviour. Women often are pushed to believe that it was their fault that they are put through such non sense(I used to believe it too), but the truth is that it is not and it never is. One should be very careful to curb this thought because they tend to eat you up.

The ultimate fact is that, in this universe, we are all one, men, women, Hindu,, Muslim, Indian, American etc., there is the same spirit inside of all of us. These are just physical forms that we are presented in and it was our arrangement(or some male chauvinistic one) that differentiated men from women. From therein, there has been this kind of an odd treatment towards us women, in India especially, it is the worst. When we think from this point of view, when a guy dashes against you or tries to grope just to show his dominance or for perversion, it seems to be merely pathetic to me. As women, you and I do not need this kind of a barbaric satisfaction to feel better. Our powerful inner strength, the spiritual strength gets us through any situation. As I have always believed, I will always remain the same invaluable person while on the other hand the low life that is trying such acts will remain so all his life.(By this I mean only those men who have crossed my path and who are without any doubt perverts of the first order) Trying to apparently damage a women’s dignity by doing such unethical things will not put us nor our spirit down. Next time you go through or witness any such incident, just look them in the eye fearlessly, slap them and walk away with your held high. That is exactly what I’m raring to do.

1 Comment

Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: Uncle’s house/ Dubai
Was wearing Long Skirt and top
Reaction: Moved away silently

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 40-50

Experience:
I have never really talked about this incident much because it was always something which I wanted to forget. But I guess the Delhi victim’s case has affected me a lot…I don’t want any girl, or boy for that matter, to face hell like she did.

I was 10 or maybe 11…I don’t really remember what I was wearing exactly, most probably a long skirt and top, but I guess it is irrelevant here anyways. I was staying over at one of my uncle’s place where I always spent a few days whenever I had holidays. My uncle, aunt, my cousins and me were watching a movie. They had a painter working in their bedroom repainting the walls. I had seen the movie before and hence soon got bored. I have always enjoyed watching people at work, be it carpenters, painters etc….love to watch them transform things into beauty. That day was no different. I quietly slipped off to the bedroom to watch that ‘painter uncle’ work. I watched him for sometime and we talked I guess a bit while he was working. After sometime he came over to where I was standing, and told me that he had a daughter just like me and that he missed her. Saying this he lightly touched my cheek and a moment later, my back. I instantly knew that something was wrong and left the bedroom quickly and slipped back silently to the hall. I didn’t tell my aunt anything because I was mortified and also because I was scared that I might be told off. However, a few days later, I did mention this incident to my mom while she was getting me ready for school. I remember trying to be very casual while saying it but I was sure Amma could hear the thinly veiled pain in my voice. I could also hear the fear in her voice when she asked me if he did or say anything else to me. The relief in her voice after hearing my negative answer was evident, even to my young mind. She asked me to tell her without any delay about any such instances in the future and obviously never to go off wandering alone. Even though this incident was never again mentioned in my presence, I did overhear my mom talking to my aunt over the phone, asking about the painter’s details but they couldn’t locate him.

This was my first instance of being a victim. There have been many more especially during  the period when I did my degree in India…most happened whilst travelling. Sadly, I never reacted angrily in the first couple, but later, after talking to my friends I realized that even angry glares helped to stop this humiliating experience.

I want India to be safe for women. I have spent most of my life outside India..the few years I have spent there had been great but have been scarred by instances like this…I want to turn my dream of a safe India into reality..and would be even more happier if I saw it happen in my lifetime…..

In memory of Jyoti, in memory of the cruelty she was subjected to, in memory of the life she might have had….let us join together to start the end of this social evil…..let’s stand united against sexual abuse…..let’s react…let’s break the silence…finally!

 

brush

Share your experience with us and the world! You will be helping others who went through something similar; and you will show the world what it really feels like! We will knock some sense into people, one person at a time.

Break your silence at http://ibreakmysilence.org/tell-your-story/ or you can also call us at 07696078820 to talk to us.

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Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: Bangalore- KSRTC bus
Was wearing Jeans and Kurta
Reaction: Reacted (yelling, complaining, slapping, fighting back)

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 40-50

Experience:
On a night-time bus where the ladies seat was not available, I was a little relieved to see that I was sitting next to a decent-looking educated man(a well paid professional from the looks of it),probably in his mid-forties.
This relief was short-lived, since after 2-3 hours had passed I felt a hand on my thigh. I pushed it away, giving his ‘asleep’ state the benefit of the doubt since it was after all an overnight journey and he had seemed quite a passive man. However this was repeated in a manner that is unmistakeable a few more times and I had had it. I didn’t create a scene as I probably should have to humiliate this prick. But I did take his hand the next time with both of mine, and twisted his fingers hard until I was sure he would feel pain. And I got off at the first stop I could.KSRTC_Volvo_Airavat

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Gender man

Was: a victim
City: Chennai
Was wearing school uniform
Reaction: Helpless, Passively Endured

Incident was : One time

Perpetrator was a Stranger and aged 40-50

Experience:
It happened when I was in 6th grade. I usually visit the CD store near my house. The owner of the shop was always kind to me and gave CD for rent at a very less price. I never really thought why he was giving CD at much lower rates. One day, he called me to watch a movie along with him and suddenly he kept his hands on my private parts. I didn’t know how to react and came back home. I was kid then and had no clue on why he did that. I was a little upset, I told the whole thing to my sister and my cousin brother. They were shocked and asked me not to visit the shop again.
Only few years later, I realized how bad that was.

This is a video on

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preventing child abuse. Check this out and teach your kids.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6aH8Rwax09AMy-pro-pic

1 Comment