Diva* – Gender woman Was: a victim City: House/Bangalore


Gender woman

Was: a victim
City: House/Bangalore
Perpetrator was a relative and aged 20-30

Incident was : Recurring

Victim Moved away silently

Was wearing Chudithar/Salwar Kameez with dupatta

It was an exciting day for me. I was on top of the world. After all, I was marrying the man of my dreams. My parents and his parents had agreed. Our love was successful. What more did I want?!! But there was just this one incident bothering my mind. How could he have twisted my arm and hurt me? For talking on the phone with one of my male friends. That was the first scary picture of Praveen I had seen. I can still remember very vividly. Oh well, being the happy-go-lucky, I believed my optimism when it said that there was no problem really. Praveen did NOT want me to talk to any of my male friends.

WHHAAAAACKKKK! WHHAAAAACKKKK! WHHAAAAACKKKK! Oh wait, what was that?!! It was Praveen hitting me hard for something. I was so blind with pain and sorrow that I couldn’t even remember the reason. It did not matter to me that he broke my finger while beating me up. Or that afterwards my face got so swollen and scarred that people at work next day worried about my well-being. I was working with a big technology corporation at the time and couldn’t afford to take off. I was simply in a state of shock.

Ya, the reason for Praveen’s frustration was that I had not obeyed his orders properly by getting the stove cleaned by the maid. According to my version, I had told the maid to clean the stove. Unfortunately, he found that the stove was not as clean as he had expected. So, it was all my fault! My mistake! I should have checked that the maid cleaned it thoroughly. For my slip, I had to be punished and this was his way of doing it.

I guess the timing was wrong since we were ‘happily married’ one week back. I didn’t know what that meant anymore. Life had turned dreary revealing Praveen’s atrocious behavior day after day. He did many things to offend me, other than his usual bouts of violence. I was staunchly determined to not break it off and to work towards improving the situation. That was mainly because I was in denial that I may have married the wrong person. Hence, not only was I an obedient and good wife, catering to my husband’s wants and whims, but was also facing the world with a brave front when I went to work each day since we sure needed the money. I had the more successful job than him.

Unknowingly, to myself, my inner faith was crumbling. I could take it no more. I was a battered victim of domestic violence. A concept I was completely foreign to, as I hadn’t seen or heard anything like this! Much less expected it to happen to me! An educated and economically empowered woman of today’s world! It was the difficulty in accepting this painful reality that took me so long to get away from my abuser. One thing that I can assure myself is that I have worked hard and good on making my marriage a success. I will never blame myself for things not working out. Especially considering the loss I have suffered in the process.

Now, I am far away from that awful experience and have moved on. Years have passed by. I am in a good place and feel great about my life. Looking back, I am so thankful that I made the right decision of stepping out of that dreadful situation no matter what. I know now that you can only mend certain things not everything!



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